JFJr hired as LoBNHL’s chief player disciplinarian

Posted: September 19, 2012 by Phuong Pham in Uncategorized

Vancouver, B.C

September 18th, 2012

In an even bigger surprise move today,  the LoBNHL announced that it had appointed a chief player disciplinarian to oversee all matters of player safety for the league. John Ferguson Jr., not considered a very intelligent hockey mind, was thought to be an odd choice for a league that involved hockey.

“THIS MOVE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS, THIS IS PLAIN AND SIMPLE ABOUT THROWING MY POWER AROUND TELLING COMMISSIONER WYATT THAT HE SHOULD TALK TO ME BEFORE HE MAKES DECISIONS. MY POWER COMES FIRST!” Commissioner Pham typed in an email. You know he was serious cause he took the time to press the shift key. “DO I HATE COMMISSIONER ARNOLDT? ARNDT? YOU’RE MISSING A DAMN VOWEL IN YOUR LAST NAME, BRA! NO, I DON’T HATE HIM. WE RUN A FANTASTIC LEAGUE TOGETHER BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I WANT TO THROW A MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP ROPE HIS WAY. I WALKED UP TO HIM EARLIER TODAY IN HIS OFFICE TO ASK HIM IF HE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING! YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME? HE SAID HE HAD A LOT ON HIS PLATE AND HE’D GET BACK TO ME! HE NEVER GOT BACK TO ME!”

When asked why the league even needs a chief player disciplinarian, Pham had absolutely nothing to say.

John Ferguson Jr. was not at the press conference, but did release an official statement.

“I’m back bitches!”

More on this as it develops.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s