Weekend ends with busiest day of trades in LoB’s long history [Xbox]

Posted: September 17, 2012 by Wyatt Arndt in Uncategorized

“Whose team am I on again??”

It’s been another huge day of trades, none of which can be CONFIRMED of course until the big red switch is pressed by league commisioner Wyatt. And while rumblings of a potential lockout hitting LoB persist, Wyatt assured everyone that everything was fine today.

“It’s business as usual.” Wyatt exclaimed at a press conference in front of Boston Pizza. “We had a little issue with that cheap fucker in Boston not buying me any Bandaro Bread, and I was pondering locking out the whole league to teach him a lesson, but luckily Columbus stepped up and offered me Bandaro bread AND Dion Phaneuf. I sent Phaneuf back of course. Nobody wants that anchor.”

When asked about the trades that may have gone down today, Wyatt became very coy. “Wait, what? You guys are trading on a Sunday? SHIT, I’ll be right back-” before running off into his limo.

The rumors we are hearing, though are that many teams made huge trades today. Calgary, apparently, can’t wait to soak it’s team in bleach and declare it over priced veteran free, as they have been the busiest team in the league since day one. “If I had a shotgun, I swear to god I just would have put down some of these old guys on my team, but legally I am not allowed to do that. So I traded them” explained GM Dave of the Flames. “Seriously though, don’t you just hate bloggers? Hey, you going to finish that Big Mac? AH SHIT -” said a man clearly in the grip of Feaster-itis.

As the LOBB Insiderr I have heard Colorado has traded Michalek, Dubnyk and a third rounder to Calgary for N. Backstrom, M. Goc and a first rounder. Calgary at this point will have a glut of starting goalies, so it will be interesting to see if Thomas stays in Calgary for much longer. #WOW

Also hearing that Edmonton traded Okposo, Weise and M. Weber (all 24 yr olds, apparently Mitch hates all 24 year olds to Tampa Bay for Zherdev (Who the NHL series FINALLY rated as a lowly 75 ov player), Dennis Seidenberg and T. Moen. From the outside looking in, this looks like a great deal for Edmonton, as they are already a team with good veteran depth, and this will only help them with their run to the Cup. Luckily Edmonton has a chance to win a Cup in video game form.

Word is that St. Louis traded Setoguchi (82 ov), Beauchemin. (83 ov), who had a combined salary of 6.5 mil to Vancouver for Voynov (78 ov) McGinn (78ov) and a third rounder. St. Louis gains around 3 million of cap space in this deal, leaving many to wonder if they are gearing up to get in on the Selanne race. “Us? In the Selanne race? That’s preposterous. I’ve never heard such a crazy thing.” exclaimed St. Louis GM Billybones. “The jig is up. Initiate Alpha Omega” Billybones shortly whispered into his. Moments later a shot rang out and the St. Louis beat reporter was dead. #WOW #CONFIRMED

More rumors suggest Ottawa and Tampa have completed a blockbuster trade in which the centerpieces were Erik Johnson and Marty St. Louis. St. Louis has long been the talk of trades mostly because “he is so damn old.” Doan and Jonathan “Everyone always forgets about me” Cheechoo are also rumored to be involved in the deal.

Two star goalies involved along with burrows/ Benn and possibly at least 1 other big name are apparently in the mix as well.

O’Reilly is a coveted name as of late, mostly because it is felt he is the only one who can help solve O’Brien’s drinking problem.

We also have word that three more huge deals are on the way, involving Thomas possibly going home, Ovechkin on the move, and Mike “The Anchor” Komisarek being traded. Yes, someone ACTUALLY took that contract. Lord help us all.

More on this as it develops.




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